Save myself; or loose my soul
What do I need to make myself whole?
Darkness and light fight for control
Can I succeed and fulfill my goal?
Anger and hate along with sorrow and fear
I fight the urge to release a tear
Strength is something I fear I lack
Always being a follower of another’s pack
To lead and be free is what I want now
But the major question is………how?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
A Tale of Wrath........
Sitting around the campfire I listened to her talk, her voice was so calm yet full of passion. Enraptured I could not help but stare at her; her eyes were so dark and her hair jet black. Dressed in her armor, sword at her side she crouched down and began her tale.
In my life I have not ever had anything handed to me. I am who I am today because I fought for it all and even killed, but I do not regret any of it. If I had not done what I had, I would not be here to tell you this tale, the story of my life. I was born in a village to two people who were of no importance other than to work for the Chieftain and supply food for him and their table. Wake up before sunrise and work until after sunset, that was their life. When I was very young, I know not how old the plague came through and killed them both. On my own I scavenged the village and begged for handouts when I could, avoiding the angry fists of those who did not want me around. By the time I was around 10 summers I would guess I had killed my first man. He saw this lonely girl and decided that no one would notice if he took her for his use…….he might have used me but I got the last laugh, when he got up off of me he did not notice that I had stolen his dirk out of his belt and as he turned around I jumped up and stabbed him in the neck. I watched as the light drained from his eyes and his soul fled his body…….all the while I had a smile on my face for I knew he would never hurt another like that again. Pulling the knife back out of his body I wiped it on his tunic and placed it in my belt…..it was the first prize I claimed from killing another. To this day I still have that knife………..
As I sat there listening I saw her fingering the dirk in the side of her boot and could imagine that there was still the blood of the man who owned it on it. With quill in hand I continued to write……
After a while I gained a reputation around the village with the other children who had no one and for some reason they all started to follow me, asking me what they should do. At first I tried to scare them away but when you already live on your own at such a young age not much scares you anymore. Finally I resigned myself to be their leader. I began to teach them what I knew, which was not much but what I did know seemed to give them some hope. Two more summers passed and my band had grown quite a bit. We were known as Wrath’s wraiths in the village. Most treated us with respect and in return we helped them with what we could but there were others who thought that just because we were still young they could use us……..they thought wrong.
I remember one night a bunch of drunken men from the village came into my camp and knocked the sentry on duty out…or so they thought…..the blow killed him. He was only a boy of maybe 12 summers and his name was Colm…..they stole our food stores and took two of my girls. After waking up and finding the destruction of my camp, Colm dead, and two missing I knew right then and there what had to be done. I gathered up the strongest of my clan and we gathered our weapons for battle. Once ready I called on my Goddess……..The Morrigan. I called her to come and be in battle with me, I called her to come and serve justice for Colm, I called her to come and protect my girls………I called her and she came. She came into me with this fierce energy………I had never felt so strong, so in control, and so ready to draw blood. I craved blood at that point. I wanted the heads of those who had done this hanging in my tent for all to see when they walked in and I would have them……..no matter what.
Following the trail of the intruders was easy. It led to an abandoned hut at the far end of the village. No one went there for fear of the spirits that haunted it of the deceased owners. Holding up my hand I halted my war band………yes we were now a war band and after this there was no going back. From inside the hut I heard the screams and moans of the girls, them begging and pleading for the men to stop and let them go………..the fire raged inside of me and I let out this scream…..you can only describe it as the scream of the banshee. We charged the hut and burst in………the men did not know what to do, they were still half drunk and had not thought anyone would care or interfere with what they were doing. I looked over to the corner and saw one on top of Rachael…….seeing red I charged him. He never saw me coming……..I took my sword and in one fell swoop his head was off of his body. I then turned to the next man who with fear in his eyes dropped down to his knees and begged me to spare his life for his family……..I told him that he did not have compassion for my family, he had killed my brother Colm and harmed my sisters Rachael and Kathleen……with that I took his head also. The other two fell to the hands of my brethren. Gathering the girls and the heads up we headed back to my camp. I knew it would not be long before the bodies were found and I needed to get my band safely moved and hidden before that happened.
Startled I found myself suddenly looking up from my tablet and quill only to be faced with Wrath herself. With kind eyes she sat down next to me and asked how my recording was going. I did not know what to say so I just mumbled all was well and that I had been writing down word for word what she told. She just smiled again and said you are a good Bard little one……..let no one ever tell you different. Getting back up she walked back around the fire and took her place back on the log.
We camped in the grove the rest of the summer. We stockpiled meat and gathered herbs and what food we could from the forest. The other stuff we needed came from raiding parties I would send out to the surrounding villages. We never got caught but it was close a couple of times. We had a few new members join the band and they thought they already knew it all. It took me doing something I regret to this day to get them to listen to me. Two of the boys who were around 15 summers old thought they would be better leaders than I and challenged me to a fight, a fight for Chieftainship. I knew it would not be a fair fight; I knew my skills were greater than theirs but when a challenge is issued you cannot back down and still be leader. I accepted their challenge and told them if they chose to back down I would allow them to walk away with their lives. They did not accept. They both ran at me and in that moment I called upon the Goddess again and felt her rise up in me. I took out my sword and in a matter of moments the bodies of those two boys lay at my feet………dead. I had not wanted to take their lives for they were good boys, just delusional with certain things but they had given me no choice. From that moment on no one in the band ever challenged me again. That night I myself buried those two boys and said a prayer over them. They had died a good death and deserved a good burial.
Pausing for a few moments Wrath sat there staring into the flames of the fire. All around no one made a sound, we just sat there waiting, hoping that she would tell us more, for it was not every day that you sat at the same fire as the Greatest Warrior of the Northern tribes. To say her name would give courage to her friends and strike fear into the hearts of her foe. Nothing could stop her once she called Morrigan to her……..she was one with the Goddess at those times. It was as if she almost became the Goddess. Looking at her now though staring into the fire you could see a softer side, or at least I could. I saw the darkness in her eyes lighten and as I looked she lifted her head and our eyes locked. It was as if I saw into her soul. I felt the pain of all the killing she had done, all the loss she had suffered, and the void of never letting anyone in. I don’t know what possessed me to but I slightly nodded my head towards her and she for one brief second smiled. Turning her attention back to the others she again began her tale.
That winter was hard……especially for Rachael though. She bore her child with the first heavy snow…..the babe only lived a few hours. She was never the same after that. The light was gone from her eyes. She would function and do what she was asked to do but never again did I see her smile. By the end of winter I guess she could take no more of trying to live. One night she left her tent in only her nightshirt and no shoes and walked out into the cold and snow. The next day we found her body. The look on her face told it all. There was calm, something she had not had since those men had raped her. We covered her body in snow until the spring thaw when we could bury her proper.
After spring came everyone started to get restless. It was then I decided that no longer should we have to hide. We had done no wrong and would not punish ourselves any more. I told my band to pack up camp that we were going home. As we rode into the village people just stared. The group known as Wrath’s Wraiths were home but no longer were they the meek children that left those many moons ago, returning in their place was a war band. A fierce group of men and women who would fight for those they loved and defend them to the death. Going up to the Chieftains hut I got down off of my horse and stood face to face with him. He asked me what I wanted and I told him that no longer were we going to live in the wild like animals, we had come back to reclaim our home and would not accept no for an answer. He looked at my band and told me that if we swore allegiance to him and this village and protected them that we would not hunger or want for shelter. Our needs would be met if I agreed. I thought long and hard but in the end agreed to his terms. We needed stability and with things this way I could further the training of the war band and turn them into first class warriors.
The blacksmith was happy to make our swords and in return my warriors gathered wood for his forges as part of their strength training, a task he happily gave over after admitting it was his least favorite. With swords in hand I began intense training. There was many a scrapes and cuts at first but I did not hold back, for they would learn no other way. After a fortnight I saw major improvement and it was just in time too. Only a few days later our first major battle to protect the village was upon us.
They struck in the night……..luckily my sentries sounded the alarm in time to rouse us to arms. It was a bloody and brutal battle but in the end we were the victors. There were a few losses to my war band but many more to the others. Come morning the streets were cleared of the dead and things were back to normal……well for everyone but me. That was the first battle I had not called upon Morrigan and to know that it was me, not her craving the blood and heads of my enemies was a lot to absorb. In the back of my mind I had always thought it was her that made me feel that way but it was me all along. I wanted that blood and I wanted those heads. At that time I knew I truly was a warrior.
Alright my friends it is late and tomorrow night I will finish my tale but for now my little bard friend I wish to talk to you alone.
With that everyone but me left the fire. I was stunned but not totally surprised at this request. When our eyes had met over the fire I knew that there was something she wanted to talk to me about. She beckoned me over to her so I stood with my tablet, quill, and ink in hand I went and sat down beside her on the log. We sat there for a while not saying anything when she finally spoke.
What I tell you now you do not write down, but only store it in your memory. One day I will be gone and then you may tell the world of the softer side of Wrath, but until then it stays between you and I. Do you understand bard? I shook my head yes and then she looked at me and asked, what is your name? Shocked I looked at her, for so long people had only called me bard that I had forgotten my name but it came to me………..my name was Cerridwen. Yes my name was Cerridwen…..how could I of almost forgotten my own name. Once I told her she just got this grin on her face. I knew you were the right one to tell my story and keep my secrets.
Cerridwen what I tell you now I have never told another. Many years ago now I was a different woman. It was late summer early harvest time when I saw her down at the river. She was in the water washing her hair and singing to herself in the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Her name was Gwennan and she was my blessing. When she looked up and saw me at first there was fear but then when our eyes locked there was love. She turned to me and opened her arms and into the river I walked fully clothed and let her embrace me. Never before in my life had I let anyone hold me, I had always thought it would show weakness but in her arms I knew that I had found my ultimate strength……..love. From that moment on she lived with me, when I was not with my band I was with her. For the first time in my life I felt I had a home. That was the happiest time of my life Cerridwen. Those memories have kept me going these years and will keep me going until Morrigan calls me home.
Sitting there stunned there was nothing I could say as Wrath wiped a tear from her eye. She looked at me again and this time what she said shocked me to my soul……….
You remind me a lot of her Cerridwen. When I looked into your eyes tonight I felt her with me again. For that I can never thank you enough. You see at one point Gwennan was the only thing that made me human. She reminded me of the good in life and that there were things worth living for. One night though we were called to arms to a farm a distance away. It was under attack and the land owners ran and begged us to help them. It had been a while since our last battle and the warriors were restless so I agreed, leaving only a few behind to protect the village. Once we got out to the farm something did not feel right, yes it was under attack but from only a few who gave up too easily without a fight. Turning to my warriors I yelled for them to go back to the village with haste but it was too late. The village was destroyed. I ran to my hut only to find my worst nightmare. On the shelf where I kept my trophies of war was the head of my beloved, my Gwennan. Eyes and mouth open in fear, her body nowhere to be found. I dropped to my knees and lost it…….in all of my life I had never cried. Not when my parents dies, not when I was raped, and not when any of my band was killed, but this was different. She was my soul; she was what made me good. Without her I did not know how I was to continue. Two of my warriors came in and just stood there protecting me while I grieved. At dawn the next morning I rose from my knees and went to the hearth and started a fire, I did not look at the head of my beloved again. As I got the fire going I took a stick and placed it in there till the end was burning bright. I set the hut ablaze; laying my Gwennan to rest. I also lay to rest something else that day for a very long time, my conscious. Once the hut was ashes we set out. This was not going to go unpunished. I would have blood but first they would feel my pain……….they would feel the full fury of Wrath.
Two days later we found their camp. Waiting until dark we snuck in and attacked. They did not see it coming at all. I was unstoppable. I know not how many I killed that night but by the time it was over every bit of me was covered in blood and my warriors stood in shock at what had been unleashed. No longer did I have a soul; no longer did I care if I killed swiftly. That night my blade was deadly but there were not many quick deaths…….most lay there begging for the end but I had not allowed my warriors to finish them off, I let them suffer. I wanted them to feel the pain I felt and much more. From that moment on I embraced my dark side. Over time my reputation grew and it was deserved. Those who crossed me did not live long. I had no home and had no allegiance to any; I killed if I thought they needed killed and sometimes even if I thought they did not need killed. I did not care; I just wanted others to hurt like I still hurt. One day after an extremely gruesome battle I saw her standing on the field. I did not know what to think……..I knew she was dead but there she was right in front of me. She walked up to me and put her arms around me and told me: Trust in the love I had for you to reclaim yourself, for if you do not, you shall forever be lost. With that she kissed me gently on the lips and faded away.
I have never again since then raised my sword except to defend those who are innocent or weak. I have a lot of damage to make up for in this life and I know I will have to make up for it in other lives too but I hope and pray that the future me will be strong enough to battle with the me of now and become one. For if not then I do not know how many times I will pay for what I have done.
With that Wrath stood up and beckoned me to do so also. Placing her hands on my shoulders she left me with these parting words.
Cerridwen I now leave you with my story; how it ends, well that is up to the Goddess but know this: When it is my time I will go fighting for what is right and with a smile on my face for I know that one day I will be reunited with Gwennan. Our love is too great to keep us apart for long, but until then guard my story well.
With that she leaned in and gently touched her lips to mine in a kiss and walked into the dark of the night……………..
In my life I have not ever had anything handed to me. I am who I am today because I fought for it all and even killed, but I do not regret any of it. If I had not done what I had, I would not be here to tell you this tale, the story of my life. I was born in a village to two people who were of no importance other than to work for the Chieftain and supply food for him and their table. Wake up before sunrise and work until after sunset, that was their life. When I was very young, I know not how old the plague came through and killed them both. On my own I scavenged the village and begged for handouts when I could, avoiding the angry fists of those who did not want me around. By the time I was around 10 summers I would guess I had killed my first man. He saw this lonely girl and decided that no one would notice if he took her for his use…….he might have used me but I got the last laugh, when he got up off of me he did not notice that I had stolen his dirk out of his belt and as he turned around I jumped up and stabbed him in the neck. I watched as the light drained from his eyes and his soul fled his body…….all the while I had a smile on my face for I knew he would never hurt another like that again. Pulling the knife back out of his body I wiped it on his tunic and placed it in my belt…..it was the first prize I claimed from killing another. To this day I still have that knife………..
As I sat there listening I saw her fingering the dirk in the side of her boot and could imagine that there was still the blood of the man who owned it on it. With quill in hand I continued to write……
After a while I gained a reputation around the village with the other children who had no one and for some reason they all started to follow me, asking me what they should do. At first I tried to scare them away but when you already live on your own at such a young age not much scares you anymore. Finally I resigned myself to be their leader. I began to teach them what I knew, which was not much but what I did know seemed to give them some hope. Two more summers passed and my band had grown quite a bit. We were known as Wrath’s wraiths in the village. Most treated us with respect and in return we helped them with what we could but there were others who thought that just because we were still young they could use us……..they thought wrong.
I remember one night a bunch of drunken men from the village came into my camp and knocked the sentry on duty out…or so they thought…..the blow killed him. He was only a boy of maybe 12 summers and his name was Colm…..they stole our food stores and took two of my girls. After waking up and finding the destruction of my camp, Colm dead, and two missing I knew right then and there what had to be done. I gathered up the strongest of my clan and we gathered our weapons for battle. Once ready I called on my Goddess……..The Morrigan. I called her to come and be in battle with me, I called her to come and serve justice for Colm, I called her to come and protect my girls………I called her and she came. She came into me with this fierce energy………I had never felt so strong, so in control, and so ready to draw blood. I craved blood at that point. I wanted the heads of those who had done this hanging in my tent for all to see when they walked in and I would have them……..no matter what.
Following the trail of the intruders was easy. It led to an abandoned hut at the far end of the village. No one went there for fear of the spirits that haunted it of the deceased owners. Holding up my hand I halted my war band………yes we were now a war band and after this there was no going back. From inside the hut I heard the screams and moans of the girls, them begging and pleading for the men to stop and let them go………..the fire raged inside of me and I let out this scream…..you can only describe it as the scream of the banshee. We charged the hut and burst in………the men did not know what to do, they were still half drunk and had not thought anyone would care or interfere with what they were doing. I looked over to the corner and saw one on top of Rachael…….seeing red I charged him. He never saw me coming……..I took my sword and in one fell swoop his head was off of his body. I then turned to the next man who with fear in his eyes dropped down to his knees and begged me to spare his life for his family……..I told him that he did not have compassion for my family, he had killed my brother Colm and harmed my sisters Rachael and Kathleen……with that I took his head also. The other two fell to the hands of my brethren. Gathering the girls and the heads up we headed back to my camp. I knew it would not be long before the bodies were found and I needed to get my band safely moved and hidden before that happened.
Startled I found myself suddenly looking up from my tablet and quill only to be faced with Wrath herself. With kind eyes she sat down next to me and asked how my recording was going. I did not know what to say so I just mumbled all was well and that I had been writing down word for word what she told. She just smiled again and said you are a good Bard little one……..let no one ever tell you different. Getting back up she walked back around the fire and took her place back on the log.
We camped in the grove the rest of the summer. We stockpiled meat and gathered herbs and what food we could from the forest. The other stuff we needed came from raiding parties I would send out to the surrounding villages. We never got caught but it was close a couple of times. We had a few new members join the band and they thought they already knew it all. It took me doing something I regret to this day to get them to listen to me. Two of the boys who were around 15 summers old thought they would be better leaders than I and challenged me to a fight, a fight for Chieftainship. I knew it would not be a fair fight; I knew my skills were greater than theirs but when a challenge is issued you cannot back down and still be leader. I accepted their challenge and told them if they chose to back down I would allow them to walk away with their lives. They did not accept. They both ran at me and in that moment I called upon the Goddess again and felt her rise up in me. I took out my sword and in a matter of moments the bodies of those two boys lay at my feet………dead. I had not wanted to take their lives for they were good boys, just delusional with certain things but they had given me no choice. From that moment on no one in the band ever challenged me again. That night I myself buried those two boys and said a prayer over them. They had died a good death and deserved a good burial.
Pausing for a few moments Wrath sat there staring into the flames of the fire. All around no one made a sound, we just sat there waiting, hoping that she would tell us more, for it was not every day that you sat at the same fire as the Greatest Warrior of the Northern tribes. To say her name would give courage to her friends and strike fear into the hearts of her foe. Nothing could stop her once she called Morrigan to her……..she was one with the Goddess at those times. It was as if she almost became the Goddess. Looking at her now though staring into the fire you could see a softer side, or at least I could. I saw the darkness in her eyes lighten and as I looked she lifted her head and our eyes locked. It was as if I saw into her soul. I felt the pain of all the killing she had done, all the loss she had suffered, and the void of never letting anyone in. I don’t know what possessed me to but I slightly nodded my head towards her and she for one brief second smiled. Turning her attention back to the others she again began her tale.
That winter was hard……especially for Rachael though. She bore her child with the first heavy snow…..the babe only lived a few hours. She was never the same after that. The light was gone from her eyes. She would function and do what she was asked to do but never again did I see her smile. By the end of winter I guess she could take no more of trying to live. One night she left her tent in only her nightshirt and no shoes and walked out into the cold and snow. The next day we found her body. The look on her face told it all. There was calm, something she had not had since those men had raped her. We covered her body in snow until the spring thaw when we could bury her proper.
After spring came everyone started to get restless. It was then I decided that no longer should we have to hide. We had done no wrong and would not punish ourselves any more. I told my band to pack up camp that we were going home. As we rode into the village people just stared. The group known as Wrath’s Wraiths were home but no longer were they the meek children that left those many moons ago, returning in their place was a war band. A fierce group of men and women who would fight for those they loved and defend them to the death. Going up to the Chieftains hut I got down off of my horse and stood face to face with him. He asked me what I wanted and I told him that no longer were we going to live in the wild like animals, we had come back to reclaim our home and would not accept no for an answer. He looked at my band and told me that if we swore allegiance to him and this village and protected them that we would not hunger or want for shelter. Our needs would be met if I agreed. I thought long and hard but in the end agreed to his terms. We needed stability and with things this way I could further the training of the war band and turn them into first class warriors.
The blacksmith was happy to make our swords and in return my warriors gathered wood for his forges as part of their strength training, a task he happily gave over after admitting it was his least favorite. With swords in hand I began intense training. There was many a scrapes and cuts at first but I did not hold back, for they would learn no other way. After a fortnight I saw major improvement and it was just in time too. Only a few days later our first major battle to protect the village was upon us.
They struck in the night……..luckily my sentries sounded the alarm in time to rouse us to arms. It was a bloody and brutal battle but in the end we were the victors. There were a few losses to my war band but many more to the others. Come morning the streets were cleared of the dead and things were back to normal……well for everyone but me. That was the first battle I had not called upon Morrigan and to know that it was me, not her craving the blood and heads of my enemies was a lot to absorb. In the back of my mind I had always thought it was her that made me feel that way but it was me all along. I wanted that blood and I wanted those heads. At that time I knew I truly was a warrior.
Alright my friends it is late and tomorrow night I will finish my tale but for now my little bard friend I wish to talk to you alone.
With that everyone but me left the fire. I was stunned but not totally surprised at this request. When our eyes had met over the fire I knew that there was something she wanted to talk to me about. She beckoned me over to her so I stood with my tablet, quill, and ink in hand I went and sat down beside her on the log. We sat there for a while not saying anything when she finally spoke.
What I tell you now you do not write down, but only store it in your memory. One day I will be gone and then you may tell the world of the softer side of Wrath, but until then it stays between you and I. Do you understand bard? I shook my head yes and then she looked at me and asked, what is your name? Shocked I looked at her, for so long people had only called me bard that I had forgotten my name but it came to me………..my name was Cerridwen. Yes my name was Cerridwen…..how could I of almost forgotten my own name. Once I told her she just got this grin on her face. I knew you were the right one to tell my story and keep my secrets.
Cerridwen what I tell you now I have never told another. Many years ago now I was a different woman. It was late summer early harvest time when I saw her down at the river. She was in the water washing her hair and singing to herself in the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Her name was Gwennan and she was my blessing. When she looked up and saw me at first there was fear but then when our eyes locked there was love. She turned to me and opened her arms and into the river I walked fully clothed and let her embrace me. Never before in my life had I let anyone hold me, I had always thought it would show weakness but in her arms I knew that I had found my ultimate strength……..love. From that moment on she lived with me, when I was not with my band I was with her. For the first time in my life I felt I had a home. That was the happiest time of my life Cerridwen. Those memories have kept me going these years and will keep me going until Morrigan calls me home.
Sitting there stunned there was nothing I could say as Wrath wiped a tear from her eye. She looked at me again and this time what she said shocked me to my soul……….
You remind me a lot of her Cerridwen. When I looked into your eyes tonight I felt her with me again. For that I can never thank you enough. You see at one point Gwennan was the only thing that made me human. She reminded me of the good in life and that there were things worth living for. One night though we were called to arms to a farm a distance away. It was under attack and the land owners ran and begged us to help them. It had been a while since our last battle and the warriors were restless so I agreed, leaving only a few behind to protect the village. Once we got out to the farm something did not feel right, yes it was under attack but from only a few who gave up too easily without a fight. Turning to my warriors I yelled for them to go back to the village with haste but it was too late. The village was destroyed. I ran to my hut only to find my worst nightmare. On the shelf where I kept my trophies of war was the head of my beloved, my Gwennan. Eyes and mouth open in fear, her body nowhere to be found. I dropped to my knees and lost it…….in all of my life I had never cried. Not when my parents dies, not when I was raped, and not when any of my band was killed, but this was different. She was my soul; she was what made me good. Without her I did not know how I was to continue. Two of my warriors came in and just stood there protecting me while I grieved. At dawn the next morning I rose from my knees and went to the hearth and started a fire, I did not look at the head of my beloved again. As I got the fire going I took a stick and placed it in there till the end was burning bright. I set the hut ablaze; laying my Gwennan to rest. I also lay to rest something else that day for a very long time, my conscious. Once the hut was ashes we set out. This was not going to go unpunished. I would have blood but first they would feel my pain……….they would feel the full fury of Wrath.
Two days later we found their camp. Waiting until dark we snuck in and attacked. They did not see it coming at all. I was unstoppable. I know not how many I killed that night but by the time it was over every bit of me was covered in blood and my warriors stood in shock at what had been unleashed. No longer did I have a soul; no longer did I care if I killed swiftly. That night my blade was deadly but there were not many quick deaths…….most lay there begging for the end but I had not allowed my warriors to finish them off, I let them suffer. I wanted them to feel the pain I felt and much more. From that moment on I embraced my dark side. Over time my reputation grew and it was deserved. Those who crossed me did not live long. I had no home and had no allegiance to any; I killed if I thought they needed killed and sometimes even if I thought they did not need killed. I did not care; I just wanted others to hurt like I still hurt. One day after an extremely gruesome battle I saw her standing on the field. I did not know what to think……..I knew she was dead but there she was right in front of me. She walked up to me and put her arms around me and told me: Trust in the love I had for you to reclaim yourself, for if you do not, you shall forever be lost. With that she kissed me gently on the lips and faded away.
I have never again since then raised my sword except to defend those who are innocent or weak. I have a lot of damage to make up for in this life and I know I will have to make up for it in other lives too but I hope and pray that the future me will be strong enough to battle with the me of now and become one. For if not then I do not know how many times I will pay for what I have done.
With that Wrath stood up and beckoned me to do so also. Placing her hands on my shoulders she left me with these parting words.
Cerridwen I now leave you with my story; how it ends, well that is up to the Goddess but know this: When it is my time I will go fighting for what is right and with a smile on my face for I know that one day I will be reunited with Gwennan. Our love is too great to keep us apart for long, but until then guard my story well.
With that she leaned in and gently touched her lips to mine in a kiss and walked into the dark of the night……………..
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