Untitled

As the light slowly fades away in her eyes;
Her soul screams out pleading for her not to die.

Fighting no more she lets the cold seep in;
Taking the knife across her flesh even though she knows it is a sin.

Red pours forth against the white;
Nothing will be left in her; it shall flee as she gives up the fight.

No more will she take the heartache and pain;
She fought and fought but in the end it was all in vain.

Lying herself on the bed she looks around for one last time;
Taking her final breath to the clocks midnight chime.

What lies beneath.......

As I sit here and think of what to write I remember and try to think of the last time I was truly happy. You know what? I cannot remember a time that I was. I have become so jaded and hurt that I cannot look back and remember what it was like to laugh and just be carefree. Those days are long gone for me and I cry knowing that they will never come back. I am mostly to blame for how I am now, I have let the wrong people in my life most all of it and in one way or another I have let them hurt me. Even after they have hurt me repeatedly I still kept them....thinking that they will change or that I can change them. The only person that needs to change is me. I need to do a spring cleaning of sorts and get rid of those who bring me nothing but heartache and misery, but how do you do that when the heart and the mind are at war? My mind knows that they will cause me nothing but hurt and pain but the heart fights saying that it loves them and will not let go. I am at war with myself and as the battle wages on I only loose more and more of myself.........even when the victor prevails in this....a part of me will still be lost.

Feelings Within

As the tears flow down my cheeks;
I look at myself and think how can you be so weak?

I opened myself up and let you in;
Even though I fought it, I let you win.

Now I look back and think what a fool;
I should have listened to myself and not broken my own rule.

Now it’s too late the damage is done and my heart is broken;
All these feelings inside I try to shut down that you have awoken.

They say that time heals all;
Will it heal my mind and soul before I completely fall?

The chasm is deep and I look down in;
Thinking to myself if I go ahead and jump will it be a sin?

With nothing to loose I turn around;
Stepping back and letting myself fall, I don’t make a sound……………..

Beginning.......

Save myself; or loose my soul
What do I need to make myself whole?

Darkness and light fight for control
Can I succeed and fulfill my goal?

Anger and hate along with sorrow and fear
I fight the urge to release a tear

Strength is something I fear I lack
Always being a follower of another’s pack

To lead and be free is what I want now
But the major question is………how?

A Tale of Wrath........

Sitting around the campfire I listened to her talk, her voice was so calm yet full of passion. Enraptured I could not help but stare at her; her eyes were so dark and her hair jet black. Dressed in her armor, sword at her side she crouched down and began her tale.
In my life I have not ever had anything handed to me. I am who I am today because I fought for it all and even killed, but I do not regret any of it. If I had not done what I had, I would not be here to tell you this tale, the story of my life. I was born in a village to two people who were of no importance other than to work for the Chieftain and supply food for him and their table. Wake up before sunrise and work until after sunset, that was their life. When I was very young, I know not how old the plague came through and killed them both. On my own I scavenged the village and begged for handouts when I could, avoiding the angry fists of those who did not want me around. By the time I was around 10 summers I would guess I had killed my first man. He saw this lonely girl and decided that no one would notice if he took her for his use…….he might have used me but I got the last laugh, when he got up off of me he did not notice that I had stolen his dirk out of his belt and as he turned around I jumped up and stabbed him in the neck. I watched as the light drained from his eyes and his soul fled his body…….all the while I had a smile on my face for I knew he would never hurt another like that again. Pulling the knife back out of his body I wiped it on his tunic and placed it in my belt…..it was the first prize I claimed from killing another. To this day I still have that knife………..
As I sat there listening I saw her fingering the dirk in the side of her boot and could imagine that there was still the blood of the man who owned it on it. With quill in hand I continued to write……
After a while I gained a reputation around the village with the other children who had no one and for some reason they all started to follow me, asking me what they should do. At first I tried to scare them away but when you already live on your own at such a young age not much scares you anymore. Finally I resigned myself to be their leader. I began to teach them what I knew, which was not much but what I did know seemed to give them some hope. Two more summers passed and my band had grown quite a bit. We were known as Wrath’s wraiths in the village. Most treated us with respect and in return we helped them with what we could but there were others who thought that just because we were still young they could use us……..they thought wrong.
I remember one night a bunch of drunken men from the village came into my camp and knocked the sentry on duty out…or so they thought…..the blow killed him. He was only a boy of maybe 12 summers and his name was Colm…..they stole our food stores and took two of my girls. After waking up and finding the destruction of my camp, Colm dead, and two missing I knew right then and there what had to be done. I gathered up the strongest of my clan and we gathered our weapons for battle. Once ready I called on my Goddess……..The Morrigan. I called her to come and be in battle with me, I called her to come and serve justice for Colm, I called her to come and protect my girls………I called her and she came. She came into me with this fierce energy………I had never felt so strong, so in control, and so ready to draw blood. I craved blood at that point. I wanted the heads of those who had done this hanging in my tent for all to see when they walked in and I would have them……..no matter what.
Following the trail of the intruders was easy. It led to an abandoned hut at the far end of the village. No one went there for fear of the spirits that haunted it of the deceased owners. Holding up my hand I halted my war band………yes we were now a war band and after this there was no going back. From inside the hut I heard the screams and moans of the girls, them begging and pleading for the men to stop and let them go………..the fire raged inside of me and I let out this scream…..you can only describe it as the scream of the banshee. We charged the hut and burst in………the men did not know what to do, they were still half drunk and had not thought anyone would care or interfere with what they were doing. I looked over to the corner and saw one on top of Rachael…….seeing red I charged him. He never saw me coming……..I took my sword and in one fell swoop his head was off of his body. I then turned to the next man who with fear in his eyes dropped down to his knees and begged me to spare his life for his family……..I told him that he did not have compassion for my family, he had killed my brother Colm and harmed my sisters Rachael and Kathleen……with that I took his head also. The other two fell to the hands of my brethren. Gathering the girls and the heads up we headed back to my camp. I knew it would not be long before the bodies were found and I needed to get my band safely moved and hidden before that happened.
Startled I found myself suddenly looking up from my tablet and quill only to be faced with Wrath herself. With kind eyes she sat down next to me and asked how my recording was going. I did not know what to say so I just mumbled all was well and that I had been writing down word for word what she told. She just smiled again and said you are a good Bard little one……..let no one ever tell you different. Getting back up she walked back around the fire and took her place back on the log.
We camped in the grove the rest of the summer. We stockpiled meat and gathered herbs and what food we could from the forest. The other stuff we needed came from raiding parties I would send out to the surrounding villages. We never got caught but it was close a couple of times. We had a few new members join the band and they thought they already knew it all. It took me doing something I regret to this day to get them to listen to me. Two of the boys who were around 15 summers old thought they would be better leaders than I and challenged me to a fight, a fight for Chieftainship. I knew it would not be a fair fight; I knew my skills were greater than theirs but when a challenge is issued you cannot back down and still be leader. I accepted their challenge and told them if they chose to back down I would allow them to walk away with their lives. They did not accept. They both ran at me and in that moment I called upon the Goddess again and felt her rise up in me. I took out my sword and in a matter of moments the bodies of those two boys lay at my feet………dead. I had not wanted to take their lives for they were good boys, just delusional with certain things but they had given me no choice. From that moment on no one in the band ever challenged me again. That night I myself buried those two boys and said a prayer over them. They had died a good death and deserved a good burial.
Pausing for a few moments Wrath sat there staring into the flames of the fire. All around no one made a sound, we just sat there waiting, hoping that she would tell us more, for it was not every day that you sat at the same fire as the Greatest Warrior of the Northern tribes. To say her name would give courage to her friends and strike fear into the hearts of her foe. Nothing could stop her once she called Morrigan to her……..she was one with the Goddess at those times. It was as if she almost became the Goddess. Looking at her now though staring into the fire you could see a softer side, or at least I could. I saw the darkness in her eyes lighten and as I looked she lifted her head and our eyes locked. It was as if I saw into her soul. I felt the pain of all the killing she had done, all the loss she had suffered, and the void of never letting anyone in. I don’t know what possessed me to but I slightly nodded my head towards her and she for one brief second smiled. Turning her attention back to the others she again began her tale.
That winter was hard……especially for Rachael though. She bore her child with the first heavy snow…..the babe only lived a few hours. She was never the same after that. The light was gone from her eyes. She would function and do what she was asked to do but never again did I see her smile. By the end of winter I guess she could take no more of trying to live. One night she left her tent in only her nightshirt and no shoes and walked out into the cold and snow. The next day we found her body. The look on her face told it all. There was calm, something she had not had since those men had raped her. We covered her body in snow until the spring thaw when we could bury her proper.
After spring came everyone started to get restless. It was then I decided that no longer should we have to hide. We had done no wrong and would not punish ourselves any more. I told my band to pack up camp that we were going home. As we rode into the village people just stared. The group known as Wrath’s Wraiths were home but no longer were they the meek children that left those many moons ago, returning in their place was a war band. A fierce group of men and women who would fight for those they loved and defend them to the death. Going up to the Chieftains hut I got down off of my horse and stood face to face with him. He asked me what I wanted and I told him that no longer were we going to live in the wild like animals, we had come back to reclaim our home and would not accept no for an answer. He looked at my band and told me that if we swore allegiance to him and this village and protected them that we would not hunger or want for shelter. Our needs would be met if I agreed. I thought long and hard but in the end agreed to his terms. We needed stability and with things this way I could further the training of the war band and turn them into first class warriors.
The blacksmith was happy to make our swords and in return my warriors gathered wood for his forges as part of their strength training, a task he happily gave over after admitting it was his least favorite. With swords in hand I began intense training. There was many a scrapes and cuts at first but I did not hold back, for they would learn no other way. After a fortnight I saw major improvement and it was just in time too. Only a few days later our first major battle to protect the village was upon us.
They struck in the night……..luckily my sentries sounded the alarm in time to rouse us to arms. It was a bloody and brutal battle but in the end we were the victors. There were a few losses to my war band but many more to the others. Come morning the streets were cleared of the dead and things were back to normal……well for everyone but me. That was the first battle I had not called upon Morrigan and to know that it was me, not her craving the blood and heads of my enemies was a lot to absorb. In the back of my mind I had always thought it was her that made me feel that way but it was me all along. I wanted that blood and I wanted those heads. At that time I knew I truly was a warrior.
Alright my friends it is late and tomorrow night I will finish my tale but for now my little bard friend I wish to talk to you alone.
With that everyone but me left the fire. I was stunned but not totally surprised at this request. When our eyes had met over the fire I knew that there was something she wanted to talk to me about. She beckoned me over to her so I stood with my tablet, quill, and ink in hand I went and sat down beside her on the log. We sat there for a while not saying anything when she finally spoke.
What I tell you now you do not write down, but only store it in your memory. One day I will be gone and then you may tell the world of the softer side of Wrath, but until then it stays between you and I. Do you understand bard? I shook my head yes and then she looked at me and asked, what is your name? Shocked I looked at her, for so long people had only called me bard that I had forgotten my name but it came to me………..my name was Cerridwen. Yes my name was Cerridwen…..how could I of almost forgotten my own name. Once I told her she just got this grin on her face. I knew you were the right one to tell my story and keep my secrets.
Cerridwen what I tell you now I have never told another. Many years ago now I was a different woman. It was late summer early harvest time when I saw her down at the river. She was in the water washing her hair and singing to herself in the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. Her name was Gwennan and she was my blessing. When she looked up and saw me at first there was fear but then when our eyes locked there was love. She turned to me and opened her arms and into the river I walked fully clothed and let her embrace me. Never before in my life had I let anyone hold me, I had always thought it would show weakness but in her arms I knew that I had found my ultimate strength……..love. From that moment on she lived with me, when I was not with my band I was with her. For the first time in my life I felt I had a home. That was the happiest time of my life Cerridwen. Those memories have kept me going these years and will keep me going until Morrigan calls me home.
Sitting there stunned there was nothing I could say as Wrath wiped a tear from her eye. She looked at me again and this time what she said shocked me to my soul……….
You remind me a lot of her Cerridwen. When I looked into your eyes tonight I felt her with me again. For that I can never thank you enough. You see at one point Gwennan was the only thing that made me human. She reminded me of the good in life and that there were things worth living for. One night though we were called to arms to a farm a distance away. It was under attack and the land owners ran and begged us to help them. It had been a while since our last battle and the warriors were restless so I agreed, leaving only a few behind to protect the village. Once we got out to the farm something did not feel right, yes it was under attack but from only a few who gave up too easily without a fight. Turning to my warriors I yelled for them to go back to the village with haste but it was too late. The village was destroyed. I ran to my hut only to find my worst nightmare. On the shelf where I kept my trophies of war was the head of my beloved, my Gwennan. Eyes and mouth open in fear, her body nowhere to be found. I dropped to my knees and lost it…….in all of my life I had never cried. Not when my parents dies, not when I was raped, and not when any of my band was killed, but this was different. She was my soul; she was what made me good. Without her I did not know how I was to continue. Two of my warriors came in and just stood there protecting me while I grieved. At dawn the next morning I rose from my knees and went to the hearth and started a fire, I did not look at the head of my beloved again. As I got the fire going I took a stick and placed it in there till the end was burning bright. I set the hut ablaze; laying my Gwennan to rest. I also lay to rest something else that day for a very long time, my conscious. Once the hut was ashes we set out. This was not going to go unpunished. I would have blood but first they would feel my pain……….they would feel the full fury of Wrath.
Two days later we found their camp. Waiting until dark we snuck in and attacked. They did not see it coming at all. I was unstoppable. I know not how many I killed that night but by the time it was over every bit of me was covered in blood and my warriors stood in shock at what had been unleashed. No longer did I have a soul; no longer did I care if I killed swiftly. That night my blade was deadly but there were not many quick deaths…….most lay there begging for the end but I had not allowed my warriors to finish them off, I let them suffer. I wanted them to feel the pain I felt and much more. From that moment on I embraced my dark side. Over time my reputation grew and it was deserved. Those who crossed me did not live long. I had no home and had no allegiance to any; I killed if I thought they needed killed and sometimes even if I thought they did not need killed. I did not care; I just wanted others to hurt like I still hurt. One day after an extremely gruesome battle I saw her standing on the field. I did not know what to think……..I knew she was dead but there she was right in front of me. She walked up to me and put her arms around me and told me: Trust in the love I had for you to reclaim yourself, for if you do not, you shall forever be lost. With that she kissed me gently on the lips and faded away.
I have never again since then raised my sword except to defend those who are innocent or weak. I have a lot of damage to make up for in this life and I know I will have to make up for it in other lives too but I hope and pray that the future me will be strong enough to battle with the me of now and become one. For if not then I do not know how many times I will pay for what I have done.
With that Wrath stood up and beckoned me to do so also. Placing her hands on my shoulders she left me with these parting words.
Cerridwen I now leave you with my story; how it ends, well that is up to the Goddess but know this: When it is my time I will go fighting for what is right and with a smile on my face for I know that one day I will be reunited with Gwennan. Our love is too great to keep us apart for long, but until then guard my story well.
With that she leaned in and gently touched her lips to mine in a kiss and walked into the dark of the night……………..

Muse

Words of inspiration sing from your lips
Penetrating my soul from tip to tip

Guidance, hope, love, and light
Lessons are won in every fight

Giving me strength to forge ahead
Knowing that one day I shall not have to be led

On my own I will stand with my head held high
You will stand there with a smile and a tear in your eye

Leaving the past behind to blow away with the dust
I only hear these words in my heart: Perfect Love and Perfect Trust.

Transcendence

High in the sky so beautiful and bright
Standing outside I gaze into the moonlight

Anger, mistrust, rage, and hate
I release these feelings to her and they slowly abate.

Replaced with gratitude and hope
With her on my side there is nothing with which I cannot cope

Bowing my head the tears begin to flow
Knowing that on my path I shall continue to go

Faith in her gives strength to me
Allowing myself to say So Mote It Be……….

Spark

From darkness comes light and from light comes dark
Within us all we have that spark

How we use it defines the soul
And whether or not we obtain our goal

Areas of gray shade it all
Helping us not to fall

Balance is reached and the work begun
Starting in the moonlight and ending with the sun.

Center Ring

Come one come all to this freak show called my life
Come on in and experience all of the strife

Emotions abound to the left and right
Pay the right price and I will give them to you for the night

Rage above, anger below, confusion all around, time to enjoy the show
You sit there and laugh, grinning from ear to ear while I say to myself if only you could know

Gasping in awe at the center ring
Out come the demons with my heart on a string

Black as night and cold to the touch
I yearn for my heart to be back in my chest ever so much

The demons do laugh and taunt me with it so
Tossing it around to and fro

Finally I get mad and jump in the mix
Grabbing my heart and hoping it is something I can fix

Placing it in my chest I feel it trying to start
Oh how long it has been since I last felt my heart

Slowly the warmth returns to my soul
No more anger and hate, I finally feel whole

Waking up I gasp and feel at my chest
Feeling my heart beating I lie back down to rest.

Deception of the heart

Passion and fear; love and hate
Even with all these emotions we cannot relate

You go left and I go right
We still want to be together but it’s always a fight

Tears and heartache; laughter and smiles
Harboring hate but loving you all the while

You’re my addiction that I cannot push away
I think of you night and day

Eventually I know the time will come, for us to part
But when we do you will always be in, and have my heart.

Anam Cara (soul friend)

Loving, loyal, devoted friend;
I know not how I will deal when it comes to the end

You have been with me through good times and bad;
And hopefully those memories together shall overcome the sad

When you were little there was such fire in your eyes;
Now I see a wizened creature who has never told me lies

When the time comes I will be with you up to the end
Knowing your spirit will always be with me and your love it will send.

Balance

Passion flows free in my veins
But like the moon it waxes and wanes

Up and down and even side to side
I open myself up, for no longer can I hide

I try to stop if from flowing free
Yet the more I try the more I know it will be

Light and dark merge into one
The fight for balance has now begun

From the fold my true self begins to grow
And now I know that what I reap I also must sow

Triumph

Life is a tangled web we weave;
For ourselves and others we do deceive.

We walk out the door smile and say hi;
Yet inside all we want to do is curl up and cry.

Pushing on we tell ourselves everything will be alright;
But pretending will not scare away all of the fright.

Our hopes have been dashed and our dreams swept away;
Should we stand and fight or turn and walk away?

Giving up is an option most will choose;
No matter how much they stand to loose.

But if you stay strong and persevere through the rough times ahead;
You will still come out on top no matter what is done or said.

Again and again till the end......................

My love bursts forth from my soul like the rays of the morning sun;
Only to be turned back, for your heart I have not won.

Determined I attempt to break down your walls;
Getting back up every time I fall.

Pushing me away will do you no good;
I too have been just where you stood.

Let me in and you will finally see;
All that is between us and what it can be.

Decision

Sitting and waiting, pacing the floor.
Scared to find out what lies beyond the door.

Daring to hope and pray and love.
Should you make your plea to below or above?

Both offer life with a different price to pay.
To the right salvation, to the left led astray.

A decision to make and a life to save.
To stand strong to the right, or to the left and cave.

You decide to choose neither and blaze a path of your own.
On the left you plant your seed, and on the right reap what you have sown.

Battle

Spiraling Spiraling
Out of control

Wondering Wondering
About my soul

Grasping Grasping
Searching for hope

Looking Looking
Finding a rope

Pondering Pondering
Accepting my fate

Emotions Emotions
Feelings of hate

Climbing Climbing
Towards the light

Accepting Accepting
No more fight

Gift

The spiders silk shines so bright,
As it glistens in the silvery moonlight.

Patient, silent, deadly, and fast;
Once on her web long you will not last.

The venom is strong and her aim is true,
You’ll be breathing your last breath before you even have a clue.

Around and around she’ll wrap you up tight,
Saving you for a meal later on in the night.

Though through your death, suffering, and strife,
Your sacrifice will give the spider her life.

Passionate Fear

While the heart screams yes, begging for affection,
The brain screams no, and fights for protection.

Feelings of joy battle with feelings of fear,
While he tells you all the things you've always wanted to hear.

"What did I do" you think "to deserve all of this?"
Yet all your lips can think about is that last gentle kiss.

Can two souls unite and possibly become one?
Only the Fates can tell when this story will be done.

Fear and Faith

Sitting and waiting looking for hope
Only to find myself at the end of a rope

Around my neck I feel it get tight
Twisting and turning I struggle and fight

The pain only gets worse when I refuse to give in
In the back of my mind I ask “why should I die for their made up sin?”

For I have harmed none and given only what I have received
Yet they persecute me, take me from my home and tell me to leave

When I refuse they curse and hang the rope high
Yelling, “Kill the Witch, the Witch must die!”

One last breath before my world goes dark
Out of the corner of my eye I see a spark

From the Earth she rises to the Heavens above
Around me I feel her kindness and Love

She looks at those who dare judge I should die
Taking me in her arms, she releases me with a sigh

Holding me tight she turns and looks around
Not a single creature dares to make a sound

Those who judged me cower down in fear
Begging and pleading with the lady who chooses not to hear

Her cauldron burst forth bubbling with knowledge of what’s to come
Justice for all and mercy for some

The Goddess dealt with those who had done her wrong
And now they are remembered only in song.

Elements of Betrayal

Tepid, that is how you can describe how I feel towards her now. A love that was once strong and hot is now tepid and weak. It’s funny how feelings can change from day to day, like a roller coaster, up and down and around and around. Not sure how you are going to feel with the next hill until you are down it. Our love grew from a friendship that was as strong as a spider’s web. We had known for a long time that we were attracted to one another and we didn’t want to loose what we had, but as time went on we could not deny what was between us. It started out casual, dinner and a movie, or even just a night in watching television. Then that first kiss was, oh how to describe it, amazing only touches the tip of the ice burg. It was passion, fire, and ice all in one. She was my addiction. I could not get enough of her. Her scent, a mixture of jasmine and vanilla, lingered in my mind when I was not with her. When we would lie in bed her hair would fall over me when she laid her head on my chest. Lying there I would run my fingers through her long black tresses and stroke her shoulders telling her how much I loved her. Then the day came when I came home and she was sitting on the couch crying. I went over to her and asked her what was wrong but she would not answer me, she just got up, went into the bathroom and locked the door. Than night was the first night since we had been together that we slept apart, I in the bed and her on the couch. In the morning she greeted me as if nothing was wrong and the previous evening had never happened. I did not say a word and to this day I regret not pressing the issue. Days passed and nothing was said about why or what she was crying for. We both just ignored the fact that it had happened and went on with our life. Under my nose things were unraveling slowly like someone pulling that one string on a sweater. The night that it all went wrong started out as a normal day. I got up and got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen where she was waiting on me with my breakfast ready. I leaned over the counter and gave her a kiss on the forehead before drinking my coffee, eating my toast, and heading out the door to the words I love you floating behind me upon my exit. Getting into my car I realized that she had not said one word to me that morning but running late for work I started the car and headed off. When lunch time rolled around I called home to check on her and see what her plans were for later that evening. I had a surprise for her that I had been waiting to give her until the right moment. When the answering machine came on I thought nothing of it, she often was outside in the garden or in the pool doing laps. Leaving a message for her to call me I ate my lunch then got back to work. At the end of the day with no call from her I began to wonder what was up. Calling her again on my cell as I headed home I still got no answer. Starting to worry I pushed the gas pedal harder until I was going 25 miles over the speed limit. Luckily there were no cops around to catch me. Upon pulling onto our street I notice a truck parked outside the house and two people sitting in it. Slowing down I pulled over in front of the neighbor’s house to see who it was. As the passenger door opened I noticed it was her. Shutting the door she turned around waved and said goodbye then went inside. Once the truck left I just sat there a moment wondering how I was going to handle this situation. Inside I just wanted to go in there and scream what the fuck are you thinking, but the rational side told me to go in calmly and ask her what was going on. Pulling away from the curb I go to my driveway and pull into the garage. Getting out I can hear her inside the house singing one of her favorite lullabies that her mother used to sing to her when she was little. Going into the kitchen she hears me and turns around and smiles at me with those beautiful lips and deep chocolate brown eyes. Slowly I can feel all of my anger and confusion seeping out of me. Walking over to her I take her in my arms and kiss her passionately and deeply. Then I smell it, another’s cologne. I stand back from her and look her in the eye and ask her,
“WHY?”
She just looks up at me and tells me she doesn’t know why but that she just felt she needed more. Turning from her I slump against the island. When she goes to touch me I shrug her off. Not knowing what to do I go up to our room and close the door. Sitting there for what seemed like hours, but in reality it was probably only a few minutes I can hear her climbing the stairs. Opening the door she comes in and sits down by me laying her hand on my leg. We say nothing for the longest time until finally I find my voice and ask her if it was over between us. Nodding her head she stands up and gets her suitcase from underneath the bed and begins to pack her clothes. While she is doing that I go to the closet where unbeknownst to her I have a gun. Taking it out I turn around and shoot her in the head. She never knew what hit her. Turning the gun on me I pull the trigger and it misfires. Walking over I sit on the bed and think of the life we had and the love that I gave her. Where had I gone wrong? Off in the distance I can hear the sirens wailing, louder and louder they get with each passing second. Knowing that my time was short I go downstairs and sit on the front porch until the first officer arrives. He gets out of his car and tells me to put down the gun or he will shoot. Raising the gun I point it at the officer…………………………..

Garden of Dreams

As I sat silently in the garden surrounded by the bright colors of red, yellow, pink, and orange I wondered what it would be like to be small enough to live in the petals of a rose. Lying back and letting their scent overtake me, I could imagine waking up and being the size of a thimble. Raising my arms to stretch I could feel the warmth of the sun radiate its heat into the flower, which sheltered me from the crisp morning air. Climbing out of the inner layers of the petals I come to rest atop the delicate yet hardy petals that I called home. Shaking the loose pollen out of my hair I slowly climbed down the stem, one thorn at a time, until I reached the ground. Once there I looked back up at my flower home and smiled. Turning I went through the blades of grass and past the anthill, following a path that would lead me to the Oasis of the Green. Hidden from those who had not been there before, it was a perfect haven of solitude for starting the day. Rambling over to the edge of the Oasis I sat down on my favorite rock. Running my hands over the smooth surface of the rock I can feel the wisdom of it flow into me. Telling me of the years it has been there with the Oasis and watching the seasons come and go, from Fall to Winter, Winter to Spring, Spring to Summer, and Summer to Fall, each one bringing a new sensation with it. The changing of the leaves, the crunch of the snow under foot, the arrival of new life, and the laughter of children at play, all bringing the year full circle. Looking up at the sun high in the sky I realized that the day was half gone. Standing up I go to the edge of the water and reach down and cup some in my hand and bring it to my mouth for a drink. The cool refreshing water slides down my throat, satisfying my thirst and making me realize that I had yet to eat that day. Going over to the berry bushes I pick one of the ripe blackberries, filled with juice and eat it like an apple due to my small stature. After eating I realize that I am tired and decide it is time to go home. Lazily I stroll back along the path, past the ant hill and through the blades of grass, up the tall stem, climbing one thorn at a time until I reach my rose petal dwelling. I lie down and think that life is certainly wonderful when you are small and can live in a rose while I fall into a peaceful slumber. Upon waking up I find myself lying in the garden of red, yellow, pink, and orange flowers under the ancient Oak tree, where the moss had been my pillow and the leaves my blanket, protecting me while I lie asleep in the Garden of Dreams.